Love Language - (off the shelf)
During the pandemic I was trying to find ways to spend my time(yes I tried to bake bread). I found myself writing a lot of poetry again and self published a small collection on Amazon. I have decided I want to revisit these poems with you guys and give backstory to each of them.
This poem, "Love Language" was written during a time I was struggling to love myself. In an effort for self growth I was trying to learn more about myself and how I conduct myself in all sorts of relationships. Romantically, I get scared when someone treats me well. I fear feelings being reciprocated because I am used to being treated poorly and I know how to navigate that, but I never learned how to navigate a healthy relationship. This sometimes carries over to my friendships, work relationships but mostly romantically. This poem was my way of explaining how I don't understand what my love language is because I really have never experienced a healthy love in the first place.
I think sometimes we become comfortable in our pain because its all we know. It feels scary to allow ourselves to be happy or feel loved because we know what awaits us if we lose it.
Give the poem a read and let me know how it resonates with you. <3
Each of the poems in that collection was accompanied by a small illustration I did myself(I am not an artist please don't judge too hard). I will include the art below <3
I'm blind to kindness
I'm hateful to love
I'm blind to action
I'm dismissive to attention
Love is the language
which never touched my lips
Pain is an old friend
whom I visit often
My depression a blanket of comfort
in my pillow fort of suffocation
constantly reaching for hope
in the strings of twinkly reflection
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